Here I am serving tea to a man and a woman. I do not recognize them but in the picture, they smile at me.Here I am helping the Domestics to cookHere I am cleaning a room, Neena's roomHere I am running outside with Neena: she has the encumberance of clothes. I am absolutely naked. Gloriously naked. I am not even wearing my chastity belt.Here I am in the gym. You can see the definition on my muscles. It looks so sexy!Here we are swimming in the lake and everyone is happy.Here I am on my knees looking up. Someone stands behind me, their hand rests on my shoulder. I smile: fulfilled, happy, safe, at peace.They are taking something from me again. The sense of anger I used to have because I had been stolen. The determination I used to keep inside me, the determination that one day I would see someone again – but I can hardly remember his name anymore. It was a man. Was it my father, or someone else? The sense that I was ... was ... who was I? I have almost forgotten now. Now I am the girl. What if I do need you, you know, like Luke said, if this all falls apart?” She hugged me back and kissed me, “Then I promise I will be there for you. Though it’s a promise I don’t think I will have to keep.”It was as if she had spoken a universal truth and my fears were gone. “Maybe we could have a joint wedding, with you and Rob.”She barked out a laugh, “Ha! Honey, me and Rob will never get married, we’re just not together like that. But if he’s still about, I might shag him under the table at yours.”“And Luke calls me brazen.”“You are and wanton. Now tell me what you thought about what he was going to explain.”I did and Diane told me that the music is the type that you get in your head and just can’t shake, which I could see, but I just couldn’t get my head around the weirdness of it all. Diane got the mischief-maker look on her face but said no more.“When do your lectures finish, is it Wednesday too?” I asked.“Yes, I think everyone is finished by then, some earlier but none later,.
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